


Something was There

by mabapo



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 08:49:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6797269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mabapo/pseuds/mabapo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Winter Soldier finds peace where it shouldn't exist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something was There

He was hit with the barrel of the gun, let himself, sent his mind spiralling, not in a bad way, he thought, somehow. He looks up at the sky, the sky is clear and orange, range like the orange light peeking through windows (windows?) and a thin, delicate and slightly (charmingly) crooked back, faced away from him, like all of the other HYDRA agents, not interested, only looking, yet he feels so drawn to that strange, pale, fragile creature that he can't even truly see, that can't see him.

  
The feeling is so peaceful, so warm, so sweet, so rare, he drinks it in with desperation, _he dares to_ , akin to that of a starved man. When had he last felt so safe? He doesn't think he has-- he doesn't think. Each day passes so slowly, wading through fear and anxiety as if it were molasses, the sun burns a line down bodies as it trudges it's weakened way through the heavy sky, and at the end of the day those burns are wiped clean with the feeling of cold and ice and nothing. Not today, today the syrup's all dried up, left nothing but a sweet smell and soft feeling to the dirt, but odder yet a constant, distant nagging of something is missing.

  
He feels his fingers reach to brush a non-existent lock of thin golden hair, feels his eyes rest on the empty space where two more should be staring back, feels his lips form words he's never heard, not said to him. Never said to him. Never heard those words.

  
Feels that hand he never had, feels it being held and it's so warm, so warm, he feels like he'd melt through his sleep if he held onto this.

  
And then there's red, burning, screaming, but so familiar.

  
Sharp pain runs through his shoulder like lightning, but he doesn't flinch, _it_ doesn't flinch. It has to be a good pet, good boy, good _soldier_ , quiet, fast, calculative, clean. It has to finish the mission, and it can't do that if it's dead.

  
There's one more flash of something so beautiful, so warm, _\--"Steve, baby doll, I love you so much, wait for me," tears streaking down pale cheekbones, he wants to chase them off, wants to see that sweet smile just one more time"I promise I'll come back, love you so much," he knows he won't come back, he feels those porcelain hands grasp weakly at the air behind him, if he doesn't die in war, Steve will certainly, before he gets back--_

  
The Asset stares down at his target, bloodied and battered, coated in the color he's seen so much and knows so well.

  
The Asset has been awake for too long.

**Author's Note:**

> um ok so i've been writing for a few years but i've never actually written fanfiction until now lmao. i'm really a big fan of poetic writing so i tried to incorporate that into this but i'm not really a big author or anything so it might be kind of weird? hair is an odd reoccurring thing in this lmfao.. i will (hopefully) be uploading more in the future bc i actually had a nice time writing this! i'm not terribly into the avengers universe anymore but it's better than nart fics i guess haha,, please tell me what you think of it and if you'd like to see more in the future! i read through it before i posted it but there might be a few mistakes mayb


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